I don’t mind if you forget me

by Anna Breslin
I don't mind if you forget me poem by A. Breslin

i am not afraid of a void
i won’t be able to perceive,
maybe it will reset and restore
me to another life,
or send me back to the universe,
or some place full of love like heaven,
or simply turn me into spent chemicals
and ashes scattered to the wind

what need have i for this vessel?
i will not cling to this body when it fails,
i will not be greedy, life comes
with an unknown expiration date
and i am grateful for it,
i have no wish to be immortal

there have been so many random moments,
so much nonsensical pain,
none of it happened for a reason
there’s nothing divine in the suffering
of many, or in the violence i have known,
there cannot be a divine plan
that includes this, (i hate that people
say such vacuous shit)

but in all the ugliness that comes with life,
i have known what it is to be awake,
for a few moments at least,
or maybe i had the delusion that i was,
which i’ll take just the same

i have known the joy of love
and the joy of passion,
once or twice, i knew them both
at the same time,
it’s rare and sweet and worth
the price of admission

i have known beauty in art,
in nature, and in bodily form,
once i was beautiful and i enjoyed
it and all the access it gave me

i have read, i have written,
i have been over-educated
i have known both the ease
and burdens of privilege

i have had so much,
i will be able to let go
when i take my last breath,
what will there be to regret?

i had no choice about arriving
i have no choice about leaving,
i am not afraid of transforming

one day i’d like to know
what the point was
of human life,
life is rare in the universe
at least it is in these times
which are still ancient,
still barbaric

but it’s okay if i never know
why i was here
it may be that everything that
happened was governed
not by stars, or gods,
or the laws of atoms,
perhaps it was all a dream
and all this time, i was really
a particle of space dust


© 2018, A. Breslin All Rights Reserved


Image Credit: photo by Martino Pietropoli on Unsplash

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